Scott and I tried for over three years on our own to have a baby before we started the adoption process a little over a year ago. In some ways those three years were really tough. On the outside and for those who don't know us well, it probably seemed that we had the perfect life- We had each other, we had a beautiful new home, two great jobs and we traveled and played constantly. But what many people didn't see was the strain that not getting pregnant was putting on both of us and how it was affecting our marriage and our relationship. We did (and do) have a great life, but we both knew something was missing.
In January last year we made the decision to start the adoption process. I don't think either of us realized what a process it would be. It took months of paperwork, background checks, and interviews before we were finally approved to be adoptive parents. It then took a couple more months for our on-line profile to be published. We were then told the agency was doing a new website and that we would have to redo our online profile that just took us two months to get published. You get the picture.
It seemed to me about once a week I would hear of a child abuse case (either locally or nationally) of a child who was beaten, killed, starved, or sexually assaulted and I would get so angry. Why couldn't one of those babies come to our family where I knew they could be loved and taken care of? I would say to myself we are trying to do everything that we are supposed so why can't we get the one thing that we so desire? Why are my prayers not being answered? I don't know that my little human mind will ever understand all of the whys.
About a month ago a friend from high school (who I haven't seen since I graduated 13 years ago) found me on Facebook sent me an e-mail that said something like this: "I know this is totally random, but I saw on your blog that you were trying to adopt. I follow another blog and there is a set of African American twins (a bog and a girl) that need a good home. I thought of you." I immediately went to the agency's website and saw that they had seven babies that were in need of families and that the average wait time for placement was 1-3 months. That night Scott and I decided we needed to work with this agency. We turned in our paperwork and our new profile about three weeks ago on a Wednesday. The following Friday, I received a call from the agency asking if we were ready to be included in a matching. I was completely amazed. About the same time, my sweet husband changed our normal prayer to the following: Heavenly Father-we really want to have a baby in our family, but if we are not supposed to please help us understand why. We found out why on Friday.
Our baby will born in Louisiana around February 25 to an amazing young woman named Janell who knew that she would not be able to give this baby the life it deserved. She is unselfishly giving us something that we can not do our our own- a Family. We don't know at this point if it will Nathan Scott or Oliva Dawn, but we couldn't be more excited.
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12 comments:
OH AMY!!!! I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!! THIS POST IS MAKING ME CRY!!! WHAT AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE I'M SO EXCITED!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
We love you Amy!!! We are happy and excited for you!
Amy I am so excited for you! I will excitedly count the days! Tears came as I read this. I knew it would happen... I just knew it! You and Scott are so awesome! You will make wonderful parents!
We are so happy for the both of you. You both will make great parents and it will be nice for our kids to have cousins about the same age.
I bet it felt good to get all that out! We are so excited for you two! I love the names you have picked out :) Amy, you are such a planner, it has got to be KILLING you wondering if it will be a boy or a girl. At the same time, I know it doesn't matter...welcome baby Magleby!!
Oh my goodness - I am so excited for you guys. We will definitely keep you in our prayers. This next month is sure to be a nerve-wracking one.
You will be awesome parents! Oh, I'm just so excited for you!
Oh, Amy... I am so excited for you! And anxious...
I've been through a month of wait like that before. When we first found out we'd been picked to adopt our beautiful son, we were told he could be born anytime. He was born 4 excruciating weeks later.
I would go from ballistic excitement at finally adding another child to our family to horrible anxiety that his birthmom would change her mind several times a day. I stopped answering the phone because so many well-meaning friends would call and ask if we'd heard any other news yet. (I didn't have caller ID, so each time the phone rang, my heart leapt to my throat, then fell again when it wasn't "THE CALL" I was hoping for.) I hope the next few weeks are not so difficult for you as those weeks were for me. I even carried around a little baby bottle half the time, kind of like a lucky charm and partly from the need to tangibly hold onto the hope for what had been missing for so long. Does that seem weird?
I really am thrilled for you. I just know how it feels to sit with your heart at the edge of your chest for days on end and I empathize with the emotional roller coaster ahead. (Of course, if you're at all involved with adoption, you're used to emotional roller coasters, but when there's a deadline at hand, it can be much more tense.) That's why there aren't so many exclamation points. But if I were there, I would hug you and cry with you and tell you how thrilled I am you and this baby will get each other and how lucky you all are. And then I would cry some more.
All that said, my second adoption was much more peaceful for me. I hope this is like that for you. I am sending much love and a lot of prayers your way. If you ever want to talk, give me a holler. I'd love that. =)
Congratulations to both of you! What an incredible blessing this will be. I could not be more happy for you Amy.
Amy, I am so excited for you!! That is amazing! I am so glad I could help in the process, I was crying as I read your post. Good Luck with the baby!
Amy. I have chills. I'm so excited for you!! I can't even stand it!
Trent and I both have tears streaming down our cheeks as we finished reading this. I can't tell you how totally thrilled we are for you. Lillian is very much looking forward to meeting her new friend Olivia or boyfriend Nathan. We can't wait to see you guys this summer and have some delicious BBQ while our kids play together...is that a perfect dream come true, or what?
We love you so much! CONGRATULATIONS, it's finally YOUR turn!
My heart is so full for you both! Ever since the first time we met you we've been very impressed and thought nothing but wonderful things of you guys! We thought you both would make amazing parents and that you both deserved a child. We are so grateful that the time as come for you guys to be parents!!! We can get together and have our kids play together!! YEAH!! Thanks for sharing your exciting news!
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